High Expectations

When meeting new people, especially in large-ish groups, theres a time when trying to impress, making an effort to be likable, social, being somewhat overly polite (natural in these situations), and the usual small talk is spent, and you feel it's time to leave. It's a weird moment, you could go on but if you do, our real selves start to appear, along with all our flaws. There's a fear there, that or you could just run out of things to say. If things turn down, theres usually someone who shows themselves indirectly - getting seriously drunk, doing something stupid like daring someone to throw knives between their legs etc. You get the idea.

If you think about, it's really just a futile attempt at actually communicating (getting a reaction), born out of a weird kind of expectation that the night should end on a high and everyone should be best friends with everyone else. Ultimately you leave unsatisfied and a bit disappointed, and maybe a bit insecure because you thought you weren't engaging, funny, interesting, whatever enough.

I actually like it when there's nothing more to say, I like the silence. Thats a little test of mine, to see if they 'get' the silence actually being a nice place to be. A comfortable silence is always good. It means we've stopped trying, and now we're opening up, taking off the mask. But then again there'll always be people who just need to talk, and can't stop. A headache at times, you need to pace it right in manageable doses. Bombarded by constant stimulation (artificial or otherwise), it seems like we're turning into machines, 'on' all of the time with no off button. If we dare to stop, there must be something wrong with you.