Making a new start somewhere far away

I think this is the only way to find my own space/place/life. I can't see any other way to get away from family duty/servitude. I've been existing, trying to live but always failing. Failing in just about every aspect of life. When I say life, I mean all the things that I see everyone else doing. All the simple little things that people seem to do automatically, as if no effort was needed. They just fall into it like nature.

I must be the most unnatural person I know. Stunted not just in youth but at every opportunity of growth and independence. I can pin point events, periods of my 'life' when I had potential. Everything I seem to try (with the exception of maybe 1 or 2 events), I utterly fail to make something of it.

So I'm seriously thinking of moving to Canada or America somewhere. Somewhere where there's space to expand, somewhere where I'd actually be considered 'special' or at least interesting. I am interesting. It's just that London is full of people with too much going to distract them, too impatient, too judgemental, too shallow to make any effort to know who I really am.

And I'm dying here. Suffocating, whatever I have to offer is wasted. I'm wasting.