High on Words & Letters

A few years back I discovered a strange quirk of mine. I was working and a supplier was writing an invoice. I watched without any expectation when suddenly the feeling of absolute pleasure came over me. I could actually feel something (endorphins?) being released from the back of my head and flooding me. Now, this doesn't happen everytime, but there must have been something about the way this guy wrote that triggered it. He wasn't born or raised here and it might have been the assuredness, the movement of the hand and of course his unique handwriting that did it. There is a pleasure in watching someone do something with absolute sureity and experience.

This isn't handwriting, but I just love the whole way this was filmed and the way the guy talks (and sings).

M83 in Motion

Some cool vids I've had on my YT favourites list, feat. the sublime Antony Gonzalez, M83.

Anit no CGI here


The Great Dictator

Pentatonic Love

I love the universal Pentatonic scale (the black keys on the piano). Music that incorporates this scale always moves me.

You will note that the last two pieces below have that looping, repetition (and trains - a motif in my life and dreams) for which I also have a partiality to. Reich was hugely influential on electronic music (you can hear it in Tangerine Dream). There's probably a load more music I have, I'll post it when I can.

Aphex Twin plays the piano? Avril 14th

I don't usually go for this music, but I thought this song was beautiful (sounds alot like Yesterday) when I saw the film:

On my previous Music To Turn Me On post: Love on a Real Train by Tangerine Dream

Steve Reich - Contemporary Minimalist
An acquired taste of mine. I couldn't find a decent recording of this piece on YT so heres:

on Grooveshark (listen to whole music tracks for free!).

Being Polite

I hate bullshit. Seriously, when I don't feel like being social, when I don't feel like making small talk, don't expect me to be a fake and pretend to be interested in who, what, when and why. Is there no place on this earth where there is no obligation? There must be. And then if you're not, you're branded anti-social and a square. Fuck sakes, leave me be!

All That Is Solid Melts Into Air

This suddenly came to me as I felt the pang of reality return.

When I'm lying in my soft warm bed, I imagine sometimes that touch of a hand on my body, through my hair, the warmth of someones breast where I lay my head, entwining myself around the covers, another body, imagine soft words and the sound of breathing against mine. And then, as if by the flick of a light switch, it vanishes into nothing, into reality. And the pang becomes more real than anything. I feel it centred at my heart, radiating an aching pain through every nerve of my body. It ends with tears.

On a Bloody Spree

I've always had a thing for the vampire genre, books and films. But I've suddenly now caught onto the current trend for all things dangerously irresistible.

The new Twilight movie, which was total cheese but a good laugh, surprising that as it's supposed to be based on the book series...True Blood as you've heard, and I've been going through my film collection: Afore mentioned The Hunger, Interview with a Vampire and one of my favs Bram Stokers Dracula (Coppola). I saw the latter in my late teens, so it kinda coincided with puberty and all that sexual awakening. I have to say, it was probably the first time I knew what the word 'erotic' truly meant. Something on a higher level than plain carnal sex I think. Other than that, I thought the story was moving in all it's extremes: The idea that someone could defy God and death, to become a monster, a killer for the hope of being reunited with the one you love..."I have crossed oceans of time..." Ah! It's a love story really, but I've read the book by Stoker and it reads more like a mystery story, it doesn't have all the emotional background. Well done Coppola!

I wonder what's next for us fang bangers?

Old School Fang Bangers

I love this film, especially the opening titles...

The Hunger 1983

V Book

So this is based on a book series huh? I might give it go, just for a change. I don't usually do genre books like this, but I feel like something easy on the brain. I've had to do a load of research for my final year dissertation and I can tell you, the stuff I have to trawl through is like trying to walk through a glue spillage the size of a small town.

Anyways, I've now seen season 1 & 2...and it was what I expected. As much as I love the characters, the setting, the whole premise, it's basically turned into a post modern soap opera, although this is definitely of the adult kind and therefore alot (and I mean "alot") more mature compared to Twilight, that other vampire series so popular with teenage girls. Well, it's something to watch for gods sakes! Season 3 will be out next summer, I will be watching.

Speaking of Blood...

Decided to give True Blood a go...see if tv has matured beyond Buffy. Was not disappointed at first...but like all things good, it gradually went down a grade or two as the series (only seen the first) went on. Oh well. Still got to see Anna Paquin who I absolutely love, and the unknown Stephen Moyer (English! Yay!)...omg, I don't know if it's his voice or the southern accent, but whenever he says "Sookie..." I just melt.


It was a bit tongue n cheek and I liked the whole setting in this small southern Louisiana town, that was a good move. There were some cool ideas but I think it fell down like alot of these series when it moves too fast, thing's aren't developed and it then becomes all about the plot and setting thing's up for the next episode just because the producers/writers think we have such short attention spans, we're not capable of watching anything unless the plotline is resolved by the end of the next episode. what can you do?;(

Do you faint at the sight of blood?

It always makes me laugh in films when the women faint or look as if they're about to at the sight of blood. Really, what ever happened to the biological fact that we shed, touch blood and generally get a bit icky with blood every month or so? I think it more likely it's the men who get queasy...remember the beginning of Quincy M.E? Ok that was a dead body. Love that series though.

Brutal Beautiful People

I was given this film by a friend to watch, she said it was messed up and she was right. What she didn't tell me was how incredibly beautiful these messed up people were. OMG! The men in this film are something else...I might be developing an attraction to tattoos. Anyway, if you wanna know what I'm talking about, chk it out yourself: Once Were Warriors.

Twin Seasons

I can't remember exactly what I was doing at the time, but for a moment I couldn't remember weather it was Spring or Autumn. They're the transitional seasons and you know it is the period before something extreme begins.

It was a grey cloudy day, no sun atall. Everything is muted and uniform. 15 degrees, a slight coolness but not enough to feel it, that inbetween temperature. The Autumn twin is different to his Spring twin. Autumn is a warning, it brings a foreboding feeling of what is to come. Preperations for the chill begins. But Spring also calls for preperations, but of a different kind. It has an energy and excitement. The thought of your hopes and dreams. An opening somewhere.

Mid-life Tremors

I was feeling really down this morning. To the point of a tear or two, I felt it coming on as I was making my way to the station on the bus. I sat there listening to my usual on-the-move playlist when I got a sudden turn of the blues. I've never had this before, I'm usually very calm and collected and it's one of my worst fears to cry in front of people let alone strangers.

What going's on? I think it has to do with Harry. It's made me feel like I'm missing something in my life. I remember now, towards the station I had the mad thought that I wanted to just give it all up, do something extreme. I don't know what, get drunk, take drugs, leave and get out of the country. I remember thinking I was feeling two extremes of emotion: totally numb and highly emotional. I wanted to shot something, kill or destroy something. I was angry, miserable, hurt.

The sun was blazing, which made it worst because I had to work and all I wanted to do was leave.

Look good Feel good

After my little comment on the Red shoes I've been thinking about another bit of clothing that I absolutely love: an old print silk wrap mini skirt. Which doesn't fit, and probably came from an old ladies shop somewhere. But I have to say, I made it fit by folding it over enough and it is the most gorgeously sensuous, slinky little number in my wardrobe. I love it! It makes me feel so good and makes me look even better. It wraps around every curve, has a little split so when the wind blows it flutters and flirts with your eye, and the print is so unfashionable, it's beyond fashionable!

Yes, I love old clothes and I love vintage!

The Red Shoes

They're flat, a deep ox blood burgandy colour, and vintage! But whenever I wear them I get such interesting attention from mainly men (and some women). Who would have thought an old pair of shoes/ankle boots could do such strange magic. That said, I've kind of taken to walking back home from Kings Cross through St Pancras station, and there are alot of suits and professional looking types about, maybe I'm a bit unusual looking around there, hence the looks. But, I have noticed an increase in interest from younger guys...they're such simple shallow creatures. Pathetic.

Men

I was down the library browsing the DVD section with two mates...when just in passing Becks mentioned the guy we met a few months ago who gave me a DVD to watch. Well, Rei suddenly had a revelation and asked what his name was...could it be the same guy who a couple of years ago dated her? OMFG! It was! He did exactly the same thing with her: invited her to look at some of his comic artwork on myspace scribbled on a piece of scrap paper. Same fucking moves.

This was at least four years ago. But you know, it actually doesn't surprise me. I kinda sussed out everything about him was disingenuous. Under all that insecurity and romantic naivety I knew it all a bit OTT to be genuine. There's me being very generous and giving the benefit of the doubt. Well, apparently this guy was a bit of a player back then, he had a load of girls on the go. And he broke down in front of Rei because of some girl who "broke his heart". Ok, I'm all for men being sensitive and showing emotion, but I tell you, I bulked at the thought of that.

I'm a bit pissed off actually. I'm not sure why. The fact that everything he did and say was said and done before, there was nothing inspired or spontaneous. Everything was rehearsed before on someone else. Ok, maybe I'm being a bit hard on this guy. I know guys have their ways, little things they say and do to get a girl interested. Fair enough. Somehow this feels like it went beyond that, like he was living some fantasy where he would do something and get the response that he wanted. It was all about him.

That's it. Fucking men, I've just about had it with these fucking guys. Why the fuck do I have to be the one who attracts the fucking weirdos.

Strange late night calls

I had two really late night calls from god-knows-who. One around 2:30am another 1:30am. These are strange times for me, I don't know anyone who would call me at this time. I was awake though, answered but didn't say anything and hung up straight away. But someone actually answered the second call, it was a guy (London accent, but I didn't recognise the voice), I didn't reply. I tried to get a number afterwards but it said it was an international number.

I can only put it down to two things: crossed lines OR something else: That guy I met told me someone was ringing him in the middle of the night and asked if it was me. It wasn't of course. He told me about some girl who he used to date who was kind of stalking him. He seemed to like the attention and I pointed this out and implied that he was probably encouraging it. He smiled, I think I was right. Anyway, I can't be sure, but I hope he's not taken to this calling me up in the middle of the night...we haven't contacted eachother since we last met, and I figure he figures hes scared me away with his coming on too strong.

Craig'ems!

I'm working with a great tech called Craig. He's so friendly, patient, takes pleasure & pride in his work. I want to get him a cake or something for his efforts. He has literally saved my backside. I have a project with the V&A Museum and the deadline is the 10th Nov. I could not have done it without Craig.

Stand Still

Now that I'm back at uni, everything takes a back seat. Nothing, and I mean nothing, gets in the way now. I have these binges of doing absolutely nothing or working like a dog. I know it's not a good thing, life should be balanced right? Not with me. Single minded, that's me. Maybe this summer fling was me stepping out a bit. The sun does strange things to people. That and turning the big three o.

I think I want to get away next summer/autumn. I mean out of the country. I feel like I need to put myself in a position where things might happen. Chance, fate, something unplanned, unexpected, weather the outcome is good or bad. I need a change of scene.

Oddball

Seriously, I really can't figure myself out. I confuse myself. I know what I like, what I hate, I have my own opinions, tastes, but there is no one thing that can define me. Probably because it's always difficult to describe yourself for anyone.

I know I'm laid back, quite reserved, people say I'm intelligent, I don't like small talk, I have an evil sense of humour...I sometimes wish I were born a male. It's seems everything that I am are exceptable traits in a man not a female. I'm not really a tom boy, I don't have short hair or dress in baggy clothes. Maybe I should put on this persona, this tomboyish look, it might make my strange personality more exceptable. People are seriously thrown by me. I remember one interview I had for art school which the interviewer described me as "beguiling", because he really liked the statement I'd written but couldn't seem to connect it with me.

I'm much more expressive, more open and honest when I write than when speaking. Oh, and another thing is my voice. It's not a nice sweet 'feminine' pitch, it sounds like I've got a cold, low and coarse at times which is why I don't get much out of it. I'm a true odd ball.

Stepping up the shallow game

Went to a talk about modern lighting design for my work. I hadn't realised how formal these talks were (but it is Design Week London I suppose). Everyone was wearing suits and were really well turned out, professional designery looking types. A bit intimidating, but what they were discussing and the way they talked was pretty down to earth. That said, I'm feeling like I need to step up the game much more, take some time over my appearance because as shallow as it may seem, in this business particularly, it's pretty key to getting a foot in the door (well maybe a toenail). It's pretty daunting all this.

There was one designer on the panel whose work I have always loved, and I was relieved to find how unaffected and unassuming he was. There's hope yet.

Auchtung

Maybe it's just me but I've noticed when I'm going round town and I think I'm having a bad skin/hair day...or...if I'm feeling like I'm looking good today. I seem to get more attention (from the opposite sex) when I'm having a bad day. I'm thinking "Why the hell are you looking at me?! I look terrible!". And if I'm not getting enough attention I get a bit annoyed because I've made some effort! I can't win:(

This is how you do it Linklater...

This is where it moves up several levels...Part 6 of 13



Sure Waking Life had interesting things in it...but Linklater didn't write any of it. It was basically a bunch of short clips of intelluctuals giving a lecture on philosophy 101. The animation didn't really go anywhere, which was a big disappointment, no creativity there where it should be. Not much of a plot or progression/development either. Weak basically.

Before Sunset : Linklater, Hawke & Delpy...please kill me!

Before Sunset (Part 3)
Uploaded by fictionboy. - Full seasons and entire episodes online.

What an utter pile of crap this was. I don't think I've known anyone who can talk non stop for 80 minutes about nothing. I'm serious, do people like this really exist? Bloody hell, I hope I don't meet any of them, they would drive me nuts! Especially someone like Celine, save-the-world, left wing do-gooders, who have a very narrow, simple take on the world and are much too fond of spouting their own opinions.

Anyway, the fact the 'characters' were completely bland and 2D, wasn't the only thing that was terrible about this film. The dialogue was forced, as was the so called 'acting' that went along with it. Delpy was a pain to watch, she looked awkward, and the way she spoke seemed so unrealistic (she sounded like she putting on an American accent). Hawke didn't really do anything in this film instead look like a teenaged boy trying to get laid. Not only that, it was utterly boring, I found myself looking away or looking at my finger nails. I watched it up until they got to her apartment, then I just had it on in the background while I typed this up. Not good.

There was no structure or plot, no build up, or build down, no development...besides them going to her apartment and she cringingly doing a Nina Simone impression. And that was it! Urgh! Please, get over yourselves! Oh, and before you start yelling at the screen all you lovers of this movie, I have seen the prequel Before Sunrise. That was marginally better than this cringe fest.

I hate Linklater films. They are so puerile, lazy, self-indulgent, trite, contrived, he tries too hard to convey something deep or heart felt, but all that comes across is something pointless, fake and unnatural. You know those people who love the sound of their own voice?...well I can imagine if I ever met Linklater, he would be one of these people. God help us!

This was one of many films listed by that guy I met, along with Sex & Lucia. This is not looking good, I pretty much hate everything he loves with a few exceptions. Oh well, maybe this is a good place to start a heated discussion - nothing I like better. Oh, when I first met him, he even suggested we go to Vienna!

Music to Turn Me On

I've had this track on my ipod for ages but never realised it was from this film. Everything makes sense now. Oh my god, who needs men when you have music like this!

Wow, I used to feel such apathy

One fateful day I decided to go to uni to start on my essay. Ever since that day, I have been feeling so many highs & lows, it's been crazy and I have never felt this way before. I really hate it. And all because someone saw me and thought to take a chance.

If this had happened a few years back, it wouldn't have mattered so much. But at this time in my life, it's total chaos. A choice that will affect the rest of my life. Things are shifting, but it's upto me how much. Bad timing though, with all this financial doom and gloom. Just when I was breaking free, just when I felt like it was the right time. Oh, I am the ever practical one, as much as its been an advantage, on the whole its been an absolute curse.

I'm shocked at how apathetic I was.

Renew my Faith in Brother

Don't worry I'm not religious, nothing to do God and all that. Just wanted to say something about trying to keep positive about men. It's a difficult thing as I am surrounded by bad role models and the experiences I've had have been disappointing. I never seem to meet guys who see me for who I am, it never gets beyond the superficial.

I always get the feeling like they expect me to be a certain way, like some sort of character or stereotype. I know I'm a difficult person to get to know. I'm not a very open or outgoing person and I don't like feeling vulnerable. But that doesn't mean to say I can't be open, it depends on the other person. With the last guy, it was very open, because he was so forthcoming and rather blatant ( I liked this, because it enabled me to be the same). But this was ultimately what put me off, he was lacking tact, was a bit too impulsive about what he said (which he admittedly regretted) and was quite pushy. I don't know. I do want to see him again though.

Like no other

What I wrote while watching Before Sunrise (Hawke-no, I don't fancy him if you have to know):

I watch these people
I don't see anything in them like me
They're cute
Passionate
Perfect
And normal
Who am I?
I don't know myself
Strange
I have no label
No box you can put me in
I am like no other
Funny
Cause I want to be like everyone else
Normal
Sure, you say there's no such thing as normal
But when you're faced with people who don't quite know how to take you
Constantly
You get to thinking there's something about me that throws people
I don't know anymore

Engage - [me] - disengage

The more I try to engage in the world around me, the more I feel dis-engaged, disconnected.
On the edge of something
A barrier I can't across
This grey area
Limbo
Never belonging anywhere
Never feeling totally at home
What is this?!
Me being hyper-selfaware?
Me being hyper-sensitive?
What is this shit?!

High Maintenance

By nature I am a true slob. Necessity on the other dictates otherwise. There are things I must do to appear as a Free person; things I must do to feel in myself a sense of being part of the world; to have a sense of the possible - hope; confidence and self-esteem (the usual shit). Course, everyone has this insecurity to some extent.

The internet is a miracle. What I've learnt is a revelation and I would never have this sense of hope without it. I know I'm getting rather cryptic and abstract. What I'm refering to is a condition I have. Have lived with since my teens and didn't know any better. I thought I just had to live it. The high maintenace is something I need to experiment with, go on a trial by error. I'm determined to find something that will sort this miserable condition out and get me back to who I'm supposed to be. I use to repeat this rhyme to myself: I'm not the person who I was going to be, if some thing didn't happen to me.

I envy anyone who can walk out the door and not have to fuss over a beauty routine, just to look normal/healthy. Those Free people know who are.

Melancholy Kid

Found while doing a big clean out, a poem I wrote for class, aged 7.

~The Wind~

It’s like the wind is inside me
Like it’s trying to push my soul out
It roars about trying to get inside me
It drags me about like a piece of cloth from the bin
It tries to force me to come to him
And use me like a ball to play with
It tries to push you off the cliff
The children play and shout as if they can’t feel the force of the wind
The children play and shout as if they don’t know the wind is there
The wind rushes about as if he’s having a race with the clouds

The curse of having time

If Lifes a Bitch...then she dealt a fucking shit hand to me. Fuck, I wish sometimes she'd given me some cancer or other shit like that. At least that way I'd have a fucking excuse. But what the fuck have I got to moan about, people are dying of starvation, diesease & fucking wars. There'd be no time to fuck around and whine about my shit, I'd be too busy trying to get clean water, a fucking decent meal a day or escape some fucking gun-toting militia run by some sadistic warlord. Right?

Our lives are so small. Navel gazing is a luxury.

Bank Holiday Monday

Decided to go out for a walk down central, got myself a new bra...the sun was blazing today.

People were out, young & old.

Saw a couple walking towards me by the bus stop while I was waiting. They looked really happy, young, healthy, carefree. I envied that.

There was another girl by herself, just sitting on a side street pavement, eating and talking on the phone, she looked totally carefree. I envied that too.

And there was me, looking in the mirror of a changing room. Hair in a state, all rough; terrible skin. I was tense and I knew headache was soon to come.

Waiting for a bus, I kept myself occupied by looking at some books outside a bookshop but was slightly annoyed by the sun reflecting off a window opposite. Then, I suddenly remembered High Windows.

I wish I had brought my camera (I almost did but thought better).

High Windows by Philip Larkin

When I see a couple of kids
And guess he's fucking her and she's
Taking pills or wearing a diaphragm,
I know this is paradise.

Everyone old has dreamed of all their lives-
Bonds and gestures pushed to one side
Like an outdated combine harvester
And everyone young going down the long slide

To happiness, endlessly. I wonder if
Anyone looked at me, forty years back,
And thought, That'll be the life;
No God any more, or sweating in the dark;

About hell and that, or having to hide;
What you think of the priest. He
And his lot will all go down the long slide
Like free bloody birds. And immediately
Rather than words comes the thought of high windows:
The sun-comprehending glass,
And beyond it, the deep blue air, that shows
Nothing, and is nowhere, and is endless.

I miss him (& his hair), but I can't live with him

How many times have you heard that, right? (not the hair bit o'course)

Maybe it's just the male company or the feeling that you're the object of someones desires...

I told him when I met him, I only feel lonely when someone is seriously interested in me; asks me out. These guys remind me of what I'm missing. I haven't felt lonely since the last guy asked me out, so it figures. What's different this time? He was completely serious. Thing is, I knew it would never work. For all the good things about him there was a little too much on the negative (nothing major) that tipped the balance. But I still miss him, dammit. And his gorgeous curly dark brown hair...I want to run my hands through those curls! Ah!

That's not him btw, but his hair! Ah!

Crusader

There's a scene in Great Expectations when Miss Haversham says to Estella "You can break his heart, if you like..." & later on Mr Pocket explains to Pip that Estella was brought up by Miss Haversham to reek revenge on all the male sex...or something along those lines.

Well, this is exactly how I'm feeling now. I want to hurt men, I want to be Estella, I want to break their hearts.

I love tanned skin

I was down Kilburn today on a few errands, was making my way back home on the 31 bus when I noticed a guy. It wasn't actually him that caught my eye, but his army jacket (love them), he had it buttoned up which looked so good. Anyways, my eye made it's way to his skin...god did he have such a gorgeous tan. It wasn't overdone, just right, like sun blushed tomatoes (yum). I sat on the seat parallel to him and checked out his hands. Now, I have a thing for mens hands, broad, a little beaten around the edges, manly but slightly slender. His were all these things plus a warm tone with a little healthy hint of pink (just like mine).

I used to think I didn't like tanned men for some reason...strange that, maybe cause I had a prejudice they were all middle aged dirty old codgers with matted toupees, gold teeth, and leering eyes. Yuk!

Delicious mood

I don't know if it's just anger, frustration, lust, what...I suddenly had a mad thought:

I would seek out guys around town, who, if they looked interested and I was certain, I would go upto and give the biggest baddest snog...walk casually away and that would be that. Oh and I might thank them in a very cool manner: Thank you for your cooperation...

This is no bluff. I feel like I've got to get something out of my system. I need to cross some barrier. Do something so out of character, and if you knew me, you would blink wide mouthed in absolute disbelief.

That might not be all, in the event of the guy running upto me and asking what that was for...what would I say?

By The Kiss

What's the fucking big deal? Stop moaning!

I tell myself this constantly

Thing is, the world I live in is pretty shallow
No, the world I live in is completely & totally shallow
First impressions?
Oooh, she looks hot...
Damn she won't let me in...
Oooh, wait there's another one

A big black hole swallows every hope everafter

The problem with free people...

Is you don't know what you've got
Just let it all hang out
Nothing
It means nothing to you
Cause you just don't realise what you have
Freedom
Here I am you say
In all your glory
Just like the day you were born
Nothings changed
Everything all fucking hunky dory, right?

Myths & Legend

Legend has it
I am your perfect china doll
Legend has it
My long black hair will feel like silk
Legend has it
I am willing to act out all your secret desires
Legend has it
I will squeak & call out your name with delight in moments of passion
Legend has it
Your visions of bliss & happiness will be lived out with me
Legend has it
You will have hundreds of photos of me half naked on Facebook & Myspace
Legend has it
I will be a trophy for you to show the world
Legend has it
I will be faithful

The Age of 30

I'm still waiting
How long do I need to wait?
Until some amazing guy decides to grow up

I was feeling better...then

I decided to go back into the world
Then, I was reminded
Free people are everywhere
The majority rules

WTF is it with these guys?
What am I?
Some fucking fantasy in the flesh?
Boy are they gonna get a fucking reality check

He told me I was his ideal
Tish...I didn't believe a word
Did he mean it?
Now get this...
This guy draws comics, graphic novels whatever you want to call it
He shows me some of his work
Alright, cool
As time goes by
I realise he's got some strange thing with living out stuff in his comics
Then I do a bit of sneaking on Myspace
Films he's watched
Music he listens to

This is when Sex & Lucia happened...

Crap
Now I realise moments in the film he tried acting out with me!
Tish

What I wrote while watching Sex & Lucia…

I hate freedom
Because I have none
I watch these people fucking
Standing without a thought
In all their glory
I look away
Stare
At nothing
At the thought of freedom
Tell me, what’s it’s like?
Freedom
Fucking hell
It’s everywhere
24/7
The haves
To my have not
Sure no ones fucking perfect, right?
I just want a little bit of this freedom
Just a morsel
Just to get me by in this miserable fucking world
Grant me this little bit of happiness
And you can have my soul
I don’t fucking care anymore
It hurts too much anyway

Boo fucking hoo
To those girls out there who are crying over some fool they lost
Boo fucking hoo
You lot were just faking it
Faking it to keep your man
Full of shit

Free people
They walk on the edge of life and death
They feel everything
Every emotion
Where do I stand?
On the precipice of a desert
Where ever I go
I end up in the same place
No different from the last
I feel nothing
Only emptiness
A longing to go somewhere

Sex & Lucia…WTF was that about?
Anyone?