Clubbing

Posted by Mook:

I went to a club a few months ago for the first time since I was a student.
At the door, the bouncer was IDing everyone (club policy) and, after handing him my driver's licence, he told me, "wow, you look good for your age." I'm 29! Hardly bus-pass material...
In the club we stood and watched as mashed teenagers progressively got more mashed until they had the confidence to try and pull the objects of their lust.
This is the root of the binge-drinking culture - we're too shy/uptight to contemplate chatting someone up sober so we have to get absolutely mullered first.
For the first hour they shoot sideways glances at the one they fancy. Then they dance nearer, then after a while they try to infiltrate lust-object's dance-circle. Then they get told to fuck off, and the whole process starts all over again.
It's hilarious to watch, but funnier still when you're the object of desire. Low-self esteem is the driver - they simply *have* to pull - it's the only thing that will validate them as a human being. Without the prospect of sex they fail. It matters not how shite that sex is - they want to tell their friends a) I went clubbing and b) I pulled. That is all that counts.
After about three hours of a succession of 17 year old boys limbering up and desperately trying to get in my pants (how depressing that my age was actually a turn-on - I am officially an 'older woman') I got bored of the shouty non-conversations, the groping on the dancefloor and the inherent stickyness of every surface and left, relieved that I no longer feel the need to subject myself to that torture in the name of 'cool' -
1) queuing up for half an hour to use a toilet that has a) no seat b) no loo-roll and c) no lock on the door,
2) spending £50 on shite cocktails to have the guts to try and pull, and
3) feeling aching regret for not having done a large quantity of mind-altering drugs which might have ensured some enjoyment of the evening.
What is the point?

Fucking Truth Say or what.

Early Morning Conversation

I chickened out of chickening out. I went to my friends birthday when I decided I wasn't going. I also spent way too much on a present that, quite frankly, she didn't deserve. What an idiot.

Anyway, I persuaded my other friend Becky, who otherwise would have been there by herself, to stay for the pub after dinner. She usually does a quick getaway. Having decided she was having a good time enough to stay over at my place, we went home and stayed up until 5am just talking.

This is the same friend who loved American Sniper. The subject came up and remembered I had my favourite book, Packing Inferno - The Unmaking of a Marine, on my bedside table. Giving it to her to look over, I wasn't expecting much of anything from her. She really isn't the type for deep or topical conversation beyond her own life. It went something like this:

Becky: Is it good?
Me: Best thing I've read.
Becky: Really.
Me: You can borrow it if you want.

She flicks through like she really cares. I expect nothing from her. I'm looking over at my DVDs, and think to myself, she has no interest in me or what I like. Most of the conversation is about the people at the party. We really have nothing in common but enjoy each others company. A feeling of complete loneliness comes over me and I realise that I have no one to share my music, films or books with. Things that I love. It's almost like I'm not a person, just someone to unload onto. Why isn't she curious or interested in the things I like? It feels like a rejection.

I know there are friends of different kinds. The ones that you bring to this gig/show and not another. The ones you share that new song and not the other. The people that I know just don't share any of my tastes. I really need to make some new friends who I actually have something in common with. It's getting to a point where I'm feeling like a freak.