Todays Funeral

Bit of a rant after attending my uncles funeral.

What happens when you don't fit in with your family because it would be hypocritical for you to go along with their way of doing things? Doing anything out of some made up code of fealty would mark you as disrespectful, not part of the 'proper' family. When in fact, I think it's the other way round.

I really don't care for upholding antiquated, often destructive filial rules and superstitions with my family. I've seen too much hypocrisy and backstabbing amongst this older generation. All these formalities are there to keep you in your place (and that is a very lowly place). I've seen how this unquestioning loyalty and deference to your elders has lead to a lot of unhappiness, betrayal, divorce, abandonment, family split ups, illegitimate children, adultery, money grabbing, gambling, begging...and the list goes on. All this pride, giving face, keeping up appearances leads to lying. Lying to people, to family and lying to yourself. The one thing that is so lacking in my family is honesty.

I won't be part of this. What you see, is what you get. I've always been a pragmatist. That's why I'd rather relate to people and family as they are. As human beings, not just another elder. When I was forced to do so as a child, I always felt dishonest. As I grew up I disregarded this (to my detriment) because I saw how it put me in place of absolute subservience, unworthy of opinion.