Feeling like a disappointment

I actually wouldn't mind dying right now. Maybe in a single heroic act of some kind. Something that might give value to this rather pointless, aimless life of mine. I wouldn't feel this way had I left home long ago. And it should have been, according to society, long ago. London can be a nasty place. Families can be nasty too. Premeditated? No, just in nature. The sum of it's parts.

I should lie more. That should be a rule to follow in life. Being honest never got me anywhere. And it's easiest to lie when you haven't got your family around. Because they know the truth of course. So, think about it. Being who you want to be, weather it's a lie or not. Weather it's real or not, doesn't matter any more. It's all surface, just like the world. Try it and see what happens.