I don't know if it's London or just the world in general, but everything seems so utterly shallow. So much so, I've realised it's been slowly suffocating me these last ten years to the point of inertia and frustration. I'm not actually a person, but a set of the most shallow assumptions. Boxed, categorised, and well and truly fkd. It's always existed, but now there's no effort or will to see beyond this any more. People have no more time - for people.
We are collected and rate, consumed and discarded.
Thinking back on the conversations I've had with friends, I've just come to the conclusion that I'm really not like the majority of people I know. I don't think about others the way they do. I am completely un-shallow (is that a word?) to the point of being blind. Friends ask what type I'm into, what are you looking for, which celebrities do you fancy? I had to really think about how to answer these questions, because frankly, I'd never thought about it. I don't (consciously) have a type I go for and I don't follow actors or celebrities.
Most of the people I know are in their mid to late twenties, perfect age to gauge the dating scene. I'm 36 and pretty much past it, but looking younger than my age really doesn't help. Men don't seem to notice me as they did ten years before, I don't quite know what's changed. Maybe I'm just not fashionable any more. Or it could be the streaks of silver hair that I intentionally have never dyed as a mark of rebellion against this obsession with youth. Too bad people don't appreciate someone who goes against the grain.
As much as people try to be individual, it's all the same brand of conformity one way or another.
